My family doesn't want my boyfriend, how do I deal with this?

by Daisy
(Miami, FL)

Just recently, my family confronted me and told me to break up with my boyfriend. They do not want me to date him because they found out that he dropped out of college, and he is now drag racing. He is a good man, but my family sees him the other way around. I want him to win my family over. I just can't let go of either of them because they are both very important to me. Can you give me tips on how to go about this?

My advice:

Hi Daisy,

I can empathize with you. It's hard when your family doesn't like the person you're dating. But, the reality is that you are the only who can decide what's really right for you in terms of your relationships. I can tell that respecting your family is important to you, and that your difficulty comes from feeling that you have to make a choice between honoring your family and dating your boyfriend.

I would ask you to consider how your boyfriend's choice to leave college will impact your relationship. When a man loves a woman he makes choices that will lead the relationship forward. Dropping out of college to pursue drag racing doesn't seem like a forward move. You'll want to talk to him about what his goals are, and what he wants for his own life. Once you find this out you'll be able to decide if you are both moving in the same direction. If you're not moving towards similar goals you may decide to end the relationship, because you are not growing in harmony. Whatever decision you make has to be based on what's best for both you and your boyfriend not your family. Be true to yourself, trust in your ability to make your own decisions, and you will know what to do.

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